Beam Me Up, Scotty
“His eyes are orange. His tongue is black. He has purple prickles all over his back." --The Gruffalo, by Julia Donaldson
Candace Owens lately appeared on Piers Morgan’s popular podcast, Uncensored, to defend her theory--or theories--concerning political activist Charley Kirk’s assassination back in September.
For the better part of an hour, Ms. Owens stood up to Morgan’s unrelenting and merciless cross-examination. With wild-eyed abandon, with or without evidence, it’s fair to assume the girl is as devout and unshakeable in her beliefs as a Carmelite nun.
Little wonder her countless adoring fans think of her as the reigning queen of conspiracy theories, a title she doubtless inherited from the previous reigning king--the incomparable Alex Jones.
Jones, of course, deserves credit as a true pioneer of the art form. Early on, he was a champion of the Pizzagate Theory, which alleged that a family friendly pizzeria in Washington D.C. was a front for a Democratic-led child sex-trafficking ring. His piece de resistance was his insistence that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, in which--theoretically--20 children and 6 educators were massacred, was a hoax put on by the government to promote gun control.
As Jones boldly reported to his millions of followers, there was no shooting, nobody died, and, in fact, the dead children and their grieving parents were all “crisis actors.” Well, I mean, really, who wouldn’t find that plausible?
Unfortunately for Jones, some of those actors took their roles as grieving parents a tad too far and sued Jones for defamation. The actors playing lawyers, judges and juries awarded the actor-plaintiffs some 1.5 billion in what is believed to be actual--as opposed to make-believe--dollars.
A brief run-down of Owens’ theories covered during her interview with Piers Morgan runs like this:
Israel and the French government, not Tyler Robinson, were behind Charlie Kirk’s assassination.
Members of Kirk’s political organization Turning Point USA, including possibly Kirk’s wife, Erika, were involved.
The FBI played a role and there “seems to be” some connection with Egyptian airplanes.
The French Foreign Legion should also be investigated.
French President Emmanuel Macron’s wife Brigitte is a man. She “pees standing up. She has a penis.”
Since then, Owens has become convinced that Emmanuel and his wife have put out a contract on her--a kill order for Candace. Meanwhile the Macrons have had enough of her hi-jinks and decided to sue Ms. Owens for libel in a Delaware court.
To those who may not grasp the unique intricacies of your conspiracy theory, I suppose it could appear that Owens’ wildly diverse, and at times, divergent, theories are just exercises in free association. Or one may simply conclude the girl is bat-shit.
Of course, we know better. How do we know? The answer is obvious: Gut Instinct. And what’s wrong with that, I ask? How else would we know that the 2011 attack on the World Trade Center was a government plot? That Bin Laden was a fictional character? That contrails from high-flying jet aircraft are really chem-trails--and we’re all being bombarded daily with showers of aluminum particles?
In the world of News, Gut Instinct has proven to be a game-changer. Such was the case with Jones, and Owens seems determined to pick up where he left off. With each new revelation, her followers are increasing exponentially, along with her income. From the looks of it, there appear to be no end of people who actually prefer this novel information delivery system over the usual dull, boring, monotone, presentation of reason and facts. If that is true--and it certainly was for Jones--then this could be the equivalent of a diamond mine that never runs out.
Obviously, people like the dull-witted Piers Morgan have some catching up to do. In his very limited imagination, mere theorizing or “gut instinct” is not sufficient. To each of Owens’ assertions, he returns again and again to the question “Where’s the evidence?” “Show us your proof.” After about an hour of this, she finally admits she doesn’t have any goddamn proof.
This kind of nitpicking was the knockout punch in the Alex Jones lawsuit. It was the money-shot. It may prove the same for Candace if she doesn’t come up with some real proof in support of Brigitte Macron’s alleged masculinity, or, at the very least, photographic evidence of her sexual organ or organs, sworn to by at least three witnesses whose integrity and veracity are well-known and widely accepted. Otherwise, it could prove a rather costly day in court for Candace.
You have to admire her sand. I personally would be hesitant to duke it out with a head of state.
Here’s what I want to know: since when did evidence and proof become such a big fucking deal? Nearly all the major news outlets accepted without question our government’s false assertion that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. To date, the resulting invasion of Iraq has resulted in at least a million or more deaths.
Last I checked, Ms. Owens’ measly suppositions haven’t killed anybody.
And then there’s Russiagate. In four years of reporting that story, alleging that Donald Trump was a tool of Vladimir Putin, did any of the major news outlets present anything more than mere speculation, theory, innuendo, or outright assertion, regardless of evidence or the lack of it?
Even after it was exposed as a hoax by Pulitzer prize winning reporter Jeff Gerth in the Columbia Journalism Review, not one “actor” in the MSM has offered an explanation, let alone retracted a single lie out of--who knows how many? We’re talking about literally hundreds, if not thousands of stories across the whole shebang--the New York Times, the Washington Post, MSNBC, CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, even Mother Jones, were all enthusiastic purveyors of this fantasy.
Not only has their credibility been demolished, but the whole debacle has exposed in the most glaring light the moral decay of virtually the entire Democratic Party and, in particular, the likes of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and ex-CIA chief, John Brennan.
And the derangement continues. To date, 80% of Democrats still believe there was collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. It might as well be a party of Jesuits.
As journalist Matt Taibbi explains, “Once upon a time, failures of this magnitude would have been career ending events. Not so anymore. No longer is there any mechanism for holding reporters accountable. Because it’s no longer a news industry, it’s an entertainment industry.”
Indeed, facts, evidence, no longer matter. They’re just impediments to the flashy stage show.
I have no love for Donald Trump and take no pleasure in saying it, but this was a pure McCarthyite witch-hunt designed to smear a sitting president and feed the appetite of legions of his haters. At the same time, readership numbers and ratings were at an all-time high, while profits hit the networks in a tidal wave. In just three years, spinning and weaving her own intricate--at times, almost incomprehensible--theories about Trump and Russia, Rachel Maddow’s yearly income soared from $7- to $30 million.
What’s good for the mainstream has proven to be as good for the rest of us. As Jones, Owens and increasing numbers of others have discovered, in terms of sheer profit, reality simply can’t compete with make-believe.
